When Does This Become Rewarding????

I need to let these hateful emotions out. It's going to be ugly ... but bear with me.

Directly below is the enemy. I all but curse at this stupid manual machine. It lies about how many calories I have burned in the whopping 15 minutes it has taken me to walk/run/stand an entire 1/2 mile (yes, you read that correctly). It tells me that while I feel like death, I have only burned 57 calories in 15 minutes. Do you realize that that is the amount of calories in a bite sized Snickers bar. This hardly seems worth it.

Below is the "ticker" that I have been wearing for one week and two days clocking my each and every step. According to it, I've walked 16.307 miles and have burned 774.9 calories. That is just over HALF of the calories that the stupid Slim Fast website told me I can eat per day.

Here's a positive! I had to get new tennis shoes for this little adventure I am on. I LOOOOVE them. They are the most comfortable shoes I have had for a long time. I've never bought a pair of tennis shoes for actual function, so I was totally overwhelmed in the shoe isle. I am glad I found these babies though. And such a cute color too!
I have also been drinking about 6 bottles of water a day. I hate water. I really do. Although, I have found that a bottle of it does go down pretty easily at dinner. I do not like restaurant water AT ALL. I have been allowing my self one pop a day. I cannot function without it.

I have also been eating a ton of yogurt, fruit (not the fruit pictured, fresh fruit. That is Logan's for his lunches) and animal crackers. I only like two flavors of yogurt though, so it gets old fast.

I am certainly really wanting to dive into these. They are my all time f-a-v-o-r-i-t-e! I did make them for breakfast on Sunday and decided I could partake. I did not feel guilty about it one bit ... but now I just want to taste them again! Sunday could not get here quick enough!

And finally ... here is what I look like after my 15 minute walk from ... well, you know. Lovely, I know. Eye make up running down the face with the sweat, dark eye circles, red cheeks. I am one hot lady. Oh, and I spared you a pic of it, but I bought the best sports bra ever the same night I bought my tennis shoes. I love it! I had to laugh though because Marcus has called it my "training bra" on more than one occasion. That is the BIGGEST training bra I have ever seen! Hee hee!
So, with all of this complaining ... I haven't stepped on a scale since starting to use the treadmill. I do not know if I am making even the slightest bit of headway on this weight loss adventure. I do know that I am more tired than normal and am hoping that changes soon. I know I can do this ... I just may need to rant more on here. I feel so much better. Now, I must go shower. You may have been able to smell me through your computer screen! Sorry.

Have a great evening,

Carrie

Not Me Monday!!!

It's "Not Me! Monday" time! I recently stumbled upon another blog that had participated and thought it seemed like a lot of fun (plus there is sarcasm and you all KNOW how much I love sarcasm!) I get to "admit" some of my failures for the week without actually "admitting" them. Head over to http://www.mycharmingkids.net/ for more Not Me's ... only after reading mine!

• I did not have a productive week at work this week. I was not feeling pretty good about that until 3 students I had recruited backed out. That would not make me totally bummed out since it was out of my control.



• I did not ask my husband to take care of getting the boys out the door on Friday morning just so I could sleep in. I do not love him so much more for doing so with out complaining. I did not enjoy sleeping in until 9:30 before heading out to lunch with two great girlfriends. I did not have an enjoyable time with said girlfriends.



• I also did not forgot to ask one of the girlfriend's how her birthday went! I would not have been that stuck on a couple of my issues to have forgotten to ask what her kids and hubby purchased for her. That would just be selfish friend right there. I would not be asking for her forgiveness in front of blogger world (I do love you Steph! And I am sorry!!!)



• We did not take the boys to the circus on Saturday night. They did not enjoy themselves and most certainly did not fall asleep on the way home totally tuckered out. I would not have taken a picture of that to share with each of you (along with some others).



• I did not borrow a treadmill from my mother-in-law because I do not know myself well enough to not know that I probably will not follow through with this. I would not have this idea in my head that I could just jump right on and make it a mile with no issues. I am surely NOT in that bad of shape. I promise you I was not right about that fact!



• Aiden did not come in while I was on said treadmill and say, "Mom ... you are getting skinnier already!" I did not take that to heart and consider stopping the workout after only 5 minutes. That would be lazy!



• It did not hit me while taking a shower after said workout that in September Aiden ran his first one mile fun run in 9 minutes and 14 seconds. I did not want to cry after realizing it took me 15 minutes to walk 1/2 of a mile!



• I am not determined to lose this weight! I am not determined to get into a workout pattern and stick to it. I do not think I can do this and I do not know that I cannot do this alone!



• I did not crack up laughing after working out and giving Logan a hug while still in my tank top after he asked me (while pointing to my mile of cleavage) "Mom, what's that crack for?" I did not laugh even harder when he asked why he didn't have one.

Have a great week everyone!
~Carrie~

Serious Note

Hello.

You may have noticed that I have placed a few new items on my sidebar. The one at the top is for a little girl named Harper. She was born just a few days ago and is having a rough time. Her family is not only asking for prayers for their little girl, but for all the babies and families in the NICU. It just amazes me how people that are hurting and in need are still willing to reach out and ask for prayer for others. Such a witness. Check it out.


Also check out the button for Abby. She's a little girl fighting cancer and receiving treatments right now. They have an amazing story too. I found their blog when I clicked on a picture of Joey and Rory (Alex folks should know who I am talking about) and found that the daddy of Abby wrote the article I was reading. Anyway, check their story out too and pray for them.

The blogger world can be so overwhelming, but I have been so touched by so many stories from blog stalking. There are some amazing families out there that make me feel like this world can be a better place. These families have gone through so much and continue to give glory to God and have really been an inspiration to me.

So, take a few minutes this week in prayer for these little girls. We believe in a healing God and these little ones need healing so badly.

~Carrie

Not Me Monday!!!

So, I am trying this thing (for my second time) called "Not Me! Monday" I recently stumbled upon another blog that had participated and thought it seemed like a lot of fun (plus there is sarcasm and you all KNOW how much I love sarcasm!) I get to "admit" some of my failures for the week without actually "admitting" them. Head over to http://www.mycharmingkids.net/ for more Not Me's ... only after reading mine!

• I was not totally excited to have Friday off due to the weather. I was not sleepy due to the lack of sleep I received from the power outage thus leading us to get up at 1 am to head over to my in-laws house for heat.
• I did not practially do nothing for the last three days and I am not thankful for that fact!
• I did not just go through 2 huge boxes of Christmas gifts the kids had received weeks ago. I would not have left them in the garage because I wasn't ready to deal with finding a place to put them all. I do not want to admit that it wasn't as bad as I had feared.
• I did not totally enjoy my family this weekend. We did not spend most of the time at home watching movies and snuggling.
• I did not post some ha-lar-ious pics from my high school years on Facebook. I did not tag many of my friends so that all would be a bit embarassed. I did not post a few of my favs at the end of this post.
• I did not cry this week after having to weigh myself in front of people. I have not vowed to lose at least 30 pounds by my 30th birthday.
• I do not want you to have a wonderful week!

~Carrie~

It's a New Day ... A Cold New Day, But New ...

Hello.
Sorry I was so whiny yesterday, but I do feel better getting that off my chest! Too bad it didn't REALLY take any weight off my chest ... er, um. Anyway!

I want to let you know that my pity party is over. I had a rough night last night with the weight stuff and then the night went downhill from there! We lost power at midnight. Not at all a good thing when the windchill is -40 ... yes, you read that correctly! So, the kiddos and I loaded up and headed out to my in-laws. The boys were so great and calm getting ready in the dark. I was afraid they would freak, but since I managed to remain calm I think it helped. Who knew! I didn't get much sleep since both boys wanted to sleep with Mommy in a queen sized bed, but it was fun to cuddle up with them. Turns out the my work was cancelled due to the outage sooooo ... SNOW DAY! We are all still in our pj's. Our cousin, TC, is here playing nerf guns with the boys and having a great time. Tonight is pizza and movies (at home) with the fam and I am excited.

Want to brag on myself for a sec. Marcus brought home donuts for breakfast and guess who passed on them! That's right ... me! I am a pastry freak (take that over chocolate any day) but I did it! I did stare at the box and salivate, but I didn't cave. Baby steps, right?????

And to my friends (and family members) Mis and Steph (runners). Please know that I know we are ALWAYS joking about my lack of running and such. I know you'd never laugh AT me. You guys are honest enough to just say, "Um ... yea - your are getting fat. What are you going to do about it???" That's why I love you ... although you never did actually SAY that!!!! :) I do love you guys and I know that you'll support me in this. Even though we do have a date to Applebee's coming up ... they have weight watcher menu items, right??? Make sure I order one of those!

Ok ... I am off for now. I've got some cute pics I want to share next week once I get them downloaded.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Love,
Carrie

Need Some Whine?

Just going to warn you up front ... this is kind of a whiny blog. I've never really used this blog as a journal, but this entry may become just that. I'm just having one of those days. I think I need to have it today so tomorrow I can pick up and do what I need to do to fix it. So, if you're willing to listen (read) whining ... continue on.

I signed up for Whitley Weighs In ... it's sponsored by the local paper and teams are formed for a weight loss "match." I am on team "Motivated Rotarians" with three fellow Rotarians. I signed up for this contest because I have known for awhile now that it's time to lose some weight. I thought nothing of having to weigh in once a month for six months ... until today.

I had to report to the local hospital for the dreaded weigh in. I had a number in my head and was pretty sure I was going to weigh in near that number ... give or take 10 pounds (more than likely give). Boy was I off. I was 25 pounds off ... and not to the good. I joked about it to the thin and tone gals from the YMCA that recorded the weight (and yes, they have children and are still thin and tone). I even laughed with the hospital greeter as I was ready to leave. Then I found myself in the lonely stairwell (there's a good thing ... I was taking the stairs ... all 1/2 flight of them) and I lost it. I just started bawling! How could I have let myself go like this? I knew I had packed on a few pounds, but I didn't realize it was nearly 45 extra pounds! And 45 pounds doesn't get me to the "ideal" weight for someone my height!

I seriously don't know why I am so surprised. I've really noticed it in my belly region and thighs! My goodness! I cringe if Marcus walks into the bathroom while I am taking a bath or into our room while I am changing and sees those body parts. I feel so ashamed. I did work out for about a week a couple of months ago ... go ahead and laugh, I am. I can't say I enjoyed it, but I did do it for 7 days straight. Why did I stop you ask, because then Marcus schedule made it so he was around the entire day and I couldn't do it in front of him. He is my husband for goodness sake! I should be able to do it in front of him - right? Well, I can't. First off, he as skinny as a broom handle. And secondly, I am too embarrassed for him to see me winded after 10 jumping jacks. I didn't want him to laugh because I couldn't keep up with the trainer even on the beginner level. And please know that is just all in my head. Yes, he might laugh WITH me - not at me. I am thankful that he loves me at 130 pounds (there was a time) or ... XXX pounds. He's never said anything hurtful about this weight gain, and for that I love him even more.

I have a lot of friends around me that are into running and we joke about me fainting about even thinking about running. It is a funny thought, but the truth is, I've never been a fan of running --- even when I would hit a home run in softball the thought of not having a small break between the bases annoyed me! So - I guess I haven't found the workout plan that will work for me, but running can be crossed off. Oh darn.

I used to love doing Tae-Bo. I even taught a class on it years ago. Wonder where those VHS tapes are now!

Anyway, I just signed up for the free meals plans via Slim Fast and found out that my BMI marker classifies me as obese. Hello reality. Hello tears. I've got to do this.

So, if you've made it through this long whiny post - will you pray for me? I've lost weight before, but I've never weighed this much. I have a long road ahead of me and can use all of the support I can get.

OK ... enough whining! I hope to not whine about this anymore after tonight. If I do, it's my own fault because of the lack of self-control.

Hopefully the next time I blog about weight it will be to let you know I've lost X amount of pounds and am feeling great!!!!

~Carrie~

Not Me!

So, I am trying this thing called "Not Me! Monday" I recently stumbled upon another blog that had participated and thought it seemed like a lot of fun (plus there is sarcasm and you all KNOW how much I love sarcasm!) I get to "admit" some of my failures for the week without actually "admitting" them. Head over to http://www.mycharmingkids.net/ for more Not Me's ... only after reading mine!

• I did not have such a headache on Monday night that I lied to my children telling them it was 8:30 and bedtime when it was actually only 7:45. Only a mean, lying mother would do such a thing.


• I did not fall off the diet track at all this week. Only someone with very little self control would do such a thing ... but have you tasted those cream horns from W*l-Mart ... seriously people! So good!


• I am not missing my little nephew like crazy this week. I did not look at some pictures from his birth and cry.


• I did not want to change my name so that Mom or Mommy wasn't an option. I did not get totally frustrated on Tuesday because I couldn't use the restroom without two little boys screaming for me. I mean that would just be selfish for me to want to do my business in private. What would I be thinking?


• I did not make my kids play longer than they really wanted out in the snow just so I could get that perfect scrapbooking shot. Nope ... not me! I did not post a couple of the pictures at the end of this post.


• I am not dreading work this week.


• I did not blog about picking the nose belong to someone else or wiping the bottom of someone else. That would be soooo gross! (see blog entry below).


• I did not go shopping all day on Saturday with friends. I would not have done that and left my husband home to do errands on one of his only Saturday's off. What kind of selfish wife would do that????


• I did not feel bad that Aiden had to miss a day of school on Friday. I was not sad because his perfect attendance was ruined nor did I feel bad that he was missing their make up Christmas party. He was not upset either.


• I am not tired of snow storms.


• I did not have a wonderful weekend with the family (hey ... the shopping was with some family too!) and I am not sad that it is over.
  

Have a great week! ~Carrie

A Mommy - Not a Person

So, the other night while at "Boff Effans" Aiden was talking about how dogs eat. I told him that he was doing a great job pretending to eat like a dog, but we do not eat that way. He told me that was correct because we were persons. Yep, persons. In turn, Logan swings his head around and says to me, "You're not a person! You're a Mommy!!!"

Little did he know how true that is, er, feels? So, I decided to make a list of how I know I am a Mommy and not a person:

• I do not think twice about wiping another person's bottom. I mean, that is an everyday occurrence ... right?
• Nor do I think twice about talking about what we are about to flush down the potty. One of the boys once said, "Look mom ... lots of them are whole but one is broken. So sad." I of course agreed with how sad it was as we proceeded to flush. Gave no thought (until now) on how odd that conversation was.
• When I was on maternity leave, I didn't give a rip that I had spit up in my hair, down the back of my sweatshirt ... or any other place.
• I've gone more than 24 hours without a shower yet have still left the house. EEEK!
• I've left the house without make up. (if that doesn't make one "not a person" I don't know what does!)
• I get excited over monster trucks, faux hawks, skateboards, and sometimes even bugs.
• I rarely get to use the potty in peace.
• I've picked someone else's nose.
• I drive an 8 passenger Tahoe for necessity, not for cool rims, loud stereos, flashy crome ... nope. My Tahoe is for car seats, dvd players, crayons, school papers, left over french fries ... the list is endless people.
• I've served Doritos, a banana and milk for dinner without feeling guilty.
• I have nursed in public (GASP!!) and didn't feel one ounce of guilt about it. (I've done it many times actually).
• I've bribed them with a prize just so I could go to the mall.
• I believe that McD's can be a nutritious meal for the kiddos if the happy meal comes with apples and milk ... and maybe 10 minutes of silence while they eat!!!
• I do not sleep well as I listen for my little ones all night long.
• I pray over them while they sleep.
• I cry over pictures as I remember moments that seem like so long ago.
• My heart hurts when they hurt. My heart is overjoyed when they are happy (or sleeping).
• I love them more than I could have ever imagined. For me to forfeit being a person is just fine with me. Being a Mommy is the best thing I will ever be.

Ok, there are a lot of items I could add to this list. I would LOVE to hear what would be on your list!!!

I declare myself "The Coolest Mom EVER!"

As you can see from the pictures, my kiddos had wild hairs last night! I took them to get haircuts and the ladies almost always do the "faux hawks" for them. Well, last night they added the blue gel (the pics don't do the blue justice ... it was COLTS BLUE!) Of course having blue hair was not enough for Aiden. He requested a "shark do." Now, I am fairly certain that Aiden made this "do" up, but who knows. He has been asking me to do the "shark" for about 6 months now. He's always explained it to me as a mohawk down the middle and one on each side. Well, he let the hair stylist know ... and tada ... we have "THE SHARK!" He was so proud of that thing. We went to eat at "Bob's House ... or "Boff Effans" (our nicknames for Bob Evans) with those hairdo's! The gal servers went nuts over my two boys. And of course, the boys flirted back with the gals. Little heartbreakers. Aiden begged for me not to wash his hair so that he could wear it that way to school, but I was NOT going to have "that kid." Sorry Aiden. But I do still declare myself as the Coolest Mom EVER! Come on ... let me have this moment.

~Carrie

Family Ties

We have returned from Missouri. I had a great time. We arrived Wednesday evening and spent time just sharing updates with the family. I ended up with a migraine, so I rang the new year in with a pillow over my head in total silence. Oh what fun! Thursday we all gathered at my grandparent's home for Christmas lunch and gifts. It was fun watching the kids (all boys) playing together and sharing their new toys. In the picture they are sporting their new shirts that Grandma Davis made for them. So goofy (the kids, not the shirts!) Thursday night I was able to sneak away with my sis and Aunt Leslie for some girl time at Wal-Mart (there is not much to do in Rolla ... Wal-Mart is the place to go!) It was nice to get to talk with each other openly. Friday I was blessed to enjoy some one on one time with my Aunt Debbie and then we added my Great Aunt Faye for some more shopping fun. I really enjoyed spending that special time with them. Friday night I got to spend some time with my Uncle Bob and Aunt Diane and their kids. It was so hard for me realizing that their son, Adam, is turning 16 soon and has a girlfriend! I remember holding him when he was a baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh.

Well, it's back to reality tomorrow. Aiden returns to school, Logan to daycare and I'm back to work. It's been a great 12 days off! I needed the r&r.

Love to all!
Carrie